Have you ever wondered why you make the decisions that you do? I recently realized that I'm a people pleaser. I didn't really think much about it before... Although, I have been told I am. I make decisions based on what I think other people would like. My parents, my friends, even the occasional stranger... But why? Well, this time I think I may have gone overboard... Well, I guess this has been going on for a year, and the decisions I have made after have been really messed up. Under the pressure of people telling me to be involved in a relationship, I finally decided I would. My problem is, I keep thinking I made the wrong decision. Yes, I like the individual, but I don't know if I could ever see myself with them... Another problem I face is that there is someone else that I think I would rather be with. What do you do in a situation like that? The person that I really want to be with, I have a feeling, doesn't want to be interested in me anymore. I could have gone out with them about a year ago, but... I made a mistake. I told them I couldn't go out with them, but I couldn't really explain why. The truth is, I was scared. Yes, I admit that I had a fear of ruining the relationship, so I told them that it couldn't happen. Do I regret what I said? Yes. Do I regret not going out with them at that point in time? I don't think so. I wasn't ready. I couldn't be. The mind is an unusual thing. I didn't know what to do. I was being a people pleaser. People around me were telling me "no"... But, if I had listened to my heart, it repeatly said "yes." I have only been taken for a few days, but that other individual has been on my mind more than the one I am going out with. It's just so wrong! When I hold their hand, it doesn't always feel right. When I kiss them, I keep wishing it was the person on my mind... What is wrong with me? Why can't I move on? I'm scared to hurt the person I'm with, and I can't understand why I decided on going out with them... Other than the fact that I like them. Was I sick of the pressure of other people? Did I miss being in a relationship? I mean, I had been single for over a year. They keep giving me the look... You know, the "kiss me" one? I keep ignoring it. I don't know if I want to kiss them. I mean, I kissed them a couple times... But, I kept pulling back. I can't help it. I just don't know if I want them like that. I love them, but I know it's platonic. I like them, but I can't decide how much. What's going on with me? Why can't I make the right decisions? I find myself thinking a lot... Sometimes way too much. Truth be told, I just want to be happy. Why do I keep making other people happy and living in this hole? I lie to myself so much that I don't know what to believe anymore. I am living with a lier... All the time. I just want out. I wish I could run away from myself. People say that I can't make up my mind... It's true, but the decisions are between me being happy, and others being happy... Why do I choose all the others over me? What can I do? Do I change from being the person everyone thinks I am? Do I remain unsure of who I really am? Is there something I can do?