Have you ever wondered why you make the decisions that you do? I recently realized that I'm a people pleaser. I didn't really think much about it before... Although, I have been told I am. I make decisions based on what I think other people would like. My parents, my friends, even the occasional stranger... But why? Well, this time I think I may have gone overboard... Well, I guess this has been going on for a year, and the decisions I have made after have been really messed up. Under the pressure of people telling me to be involved in a relationship, I finally decided I would. My problem is, I keep thinking I made the wrong decision. Yes, I like the individual, but I don't know if I could ever see myself with them... Another problem I face is that there is someone else that I think I would rather be with. What do you do in a situation like that? The person that I really want to be with, I have a feeling, doesn't want to be interested in me anymore. I could have gone out with them about a year ago, but... I made a mistake. I told them I couldn't go out with them, but I couldn't really explain why. The truth is, I was scared. Yes, I admit that I had a fear of ruining the relationship, so I told them that it couldn't happen. Do I regret what I said? Yes. Do I regret not going out with them at that point in time? I don't think so. I wasn't ready. I couldn't be. The mind is an unusual thing. I didn't know what to do. I was being a people pleaser. People around me were telling me "no"... But, if I had listened to my heart, it repeatly said "yes." I have only been taken for a few days, but that other individual has been on my mind more than the one I am going out with. It's just so wrong! When I hold their hand, it doesn't always feel right. When I kiss them, I keep wishing it was the person on my mind... What is wrong with me? Why can't I move on? I'm scared to hurt the person I'm with, and I can't understand why I decided on going out with them... Other than the fact that I like them. Was I sick of the pressure of other people? Did I miss being in a relationship? I mean, I had been single for over a year. They keep giving me the look... You know, the "kiss me" one? I keep ignoring it. I don't know if I want to kiss them. I mean, I kissed them a couple times... But, I kept pulling back. I can't help it. I just don't know if I want them like that. I love them, but I know it's platonic. I like them, but I can't decide how much. What's going on with me? Why can't I make the right decisions? I find myself thinking a lot... Sometimes way too much. Truth be told, I just want to be happy. Why do I keep making other people happy and living in this hole? I lie to myself so much that I don't know what to believe anymore. I am living with a lier... All the time. I just want out. I wish I could run away from myself. People say that I can't make up my mind... It's true, but the decisions are between me being happy, and others being happy... Why do I choose all the others over me? What can I do? Do I change from being the person everyone thinks I am? Do I remain unsure of who I really am? Is there something I can do?

How to say I Love You in 100 Languages

Afrikaans - Ek het jou lief

Albanian - Te dua

Arabic - Ana behibak (to male)

Arabic - Ana behibek (to female)

Armenian - Yes kez sirumen

Bambara - M'bi fe

Bengali - Ami tomake bhalobashi (pronounced: Amee toe-ma-kee bhalo-bashee)

Belarusian - Ya tabe kahayu

Bisaya - Nahigugma ako kanimo

Bulgarian - Obicham te

Cambodian - Soro lahn nhee ah

Cantonese Chinese - Ngo oiy ney a

Catalan - T'estimo

Cherokee - Tsi ge yu i (Thanks Nancy!)

Cheyenne - Ne mohotatse

Chichewa - Ndimakukonda

Corsican - Ti tengu caru (to male)

Creol - Mi aime jou

Croatian - Volim te

Czech - Miluji te

Danish - Jeg Elsker

Dig Dutch - Ik hou van jou

Elvish - Amin mela lle (from The Lord of The Rings, by J.R.R. Tolkien)

English - I love you

Esperanto - Mi amas vin

Estonian - Ma armastan sind

Ethiopian - Afgreki'

Faroese - Eg elski teg

Farsi - Doset daram

Filipino - Mahal kita

Finnish - Mina rakastan sinua

French - Je t'aime, Je t'adore

Frisian - Ik hâld fan dy

Gaelic - Ta gra agam ort

Georgian - Mikvarhar

German - Ich liebe dich

Greek - S'agapo

Gujarati - Hoo thunay prem karoo choo

Hiligaynon - Palangga ko ikaw

Hawaiian - Aloha Au Ia`oe

Hebrew (Thanks Lilach) Hebrew to male: "ani ohev otcha" (said by male) "Ohevet ot'cha" (said by female) Hebrew to female: "ani ohev otach" (said by male) "ohevet Otach" (said by female)

Hiligaynon - Guina higugma ko ikaw

Hindi - Hum Tumhe Pyar Karte hae

Hmong - Kuv hlub koj

Hopi - Nu' umi unangwa'ta

Hungarian - Szerelmes vagyok beléd(Thanks Csaba!)

Icelandic - Eg elska tig

Ilonggo - Palangga ko ikaw

Indonesian - Saya cinta padamu

Inuit - Negligevapse

Irish - Taim i' ngra leat

Italian - Ti amo

Japanese - Aishiteru

Kannada - Naanu ninna preetisuttene

Kapampangan - Kaluguran daka

Kiswahili - Nakupenda

Konkani - Tu magel moga cho

Korean - Sarang Heyo

Latin - Te amo

Latvian - Es tevi miilu

Lebanese - Bahibak

Lithuanian - Tave myliu

Luxembourgeois - Ech hun dech gäer

Macedonian - Te Sakam

Malay - Saya cintakan mu / Aku cinta padamu

Malayalam - Njan Ninne Premikunnu

Maltese - Inhobbok

Mandarin Chinese - Wo ai ni

Marathi - Me tula prem karto

Mohawk - Kanbhik

Moroccan - Ana moajaba bik

Nahuatl - Ni mits neki

Navaho - Ayor anosh'ni

Norwegian - Jeg Elsker Deg

Pandacan - Syota na kita!!

Pangasinan - Inaru Taka

Papiamento - Mi ta stimabo

Persian - Doo-set daaram

Pig Latin - Iay ovlay ouyay

Polish - Kocham Ciebie

Portuguese - Eu te amo

Romanian - Te iubesc

Russian - Ya tebya liubliu

Scot Gaelic - Tha gra..dh agam ort

Serbian - Volim te

Setswana - Ke a go rata

Sign Language - ,..,,/ (represents position of fingers when signing'I Love You')

Sindhi - Maa tokhe pyar kendo ahyan

Sioux - Techihhila

Slovak - Lu`bim ta

Slovenian - Ljubim te

Spanish - Te quiero / Te amo

Swahili - Ninapenda wewe

Swedish - Jag alskar dig

Swiss-German - Ich lieb Di

Surinam - Mi lobi joe

Tagalog - Mahal kita

Taiwanese - Wa ga ei li

Tahitian - Ua Here Vau Ia Oe

Tamil - Nan unnai kathalikaraen

Telugu - Nenu ninnu premistunnanu

Thai - Chan rak khun (to male)

Thai - Phom rak khun (to female)

Turkish - Seni Seviyorum

Ukrainian - Ya tebe kahayu

Urdu - mai aap say pyaar karta hoo

Vietnamese - Anh ye^u em (to female)

Vietnamese - Em ye^u anh (to male)

Welsh - 'Rwy'n dy garu di

Yiddish - Ikh hob dikh

Yoruba - Mo ni fe

 

Well, I guess I really don't have much more to say! I love you MINDSAY!

Well, I don't have a valentine this year... But I'm making due. I don't really need one. I have love for all of my family and friends. That's enough love, right?

 

I have had interesting relationships in the past. Some of which I am not extremely proud of. I think that being single for now is good for me. I think that maybe one of these days, I'll give in to the whole ready to date again phase... For now though, I'm happy being who I am without that "special person" in my life.

 

So, Happy Valentine's Day! I hope you all have a crazy awesome time!